


Feeling So Faithless (Lost Under the Surface)

by Signsofsam



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Eddie's A Good Friend, Evan Buckley has bad parents, Gen, hint of a pre relationship if you squint, idek, post-episode 4x04, reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signsofsam/pseuds/Signsofsam
Summary: “I just want to hit things.”And Eddieknowsthat feeling. He knows the anger, and knows how it can burn through you.He knows the consequences of letting it consume you.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 124
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Feeling So Faithless (Lost Under the Surface)

**Author's Note:**

> Full Disclosure: I haven't seen the episode yet. I have seen the episode through tumblr though, and have gifsets galore, so I obviously know exactly what happens, right?
> 
> Title is from _Numb_ by Linkin Park

“I just want to hit things.”

And Eddie  _ knows  _ that feeling. He knows the anger, and knows how it can burn through you.

He knows the consequences of letting it consume you.

His hand is out before he can really think about it, stopping the bag, so close he can feel the wind of Buck’s fist and the vibrations through the bag, but he’s not scared; Buck would never hit him. Buck’s hands drop, and he glares at Eddie, because he wants to hit things, but he won’t hit something Eddie’s in front of.

Eddie’s not ready to think about that yet.

Instead he says, weighing each word, “I’ve been down that road; I don’t recommend it.” and then, when Buck doesn’t answer (but doesn’t start hitting things again, either), he adds, “you should come for game night tonight. See Chris, use that fancy Hildy coffee maker you bought me.”

It’s the mention of Chris that seems to break through the overwhelming anger Buck has for his parents. Because his parents-well, they’re shit. Eddie has issues with his own mom and dad, but he knows, even through their problems, that no matter what, they’d be there for him if he ever needed them.

That they love him always.

Buck doesn’t have that from his parents, and he  _ should _ be angry, because it’s not fair for him. Eddie doesn’t know what Buck was like when he was younger, but he can  _ not _ imagine a world in which any age Evan Buckley was hard to love. And it’s Buck’s easy ability to love that breaks through the rage, because Buck loves Chris.

Because Chris is part of his family, too.

“I don’t know that I’d be very good company tonight,” he finally says, and Eddie shrugs, undeterred.

“Even more reason you should be there, Buck. You shouldn’t be alone if you feel like you’re looking for a fight. I know that, and you know from watching me go through the same thing that you know it, too. You should probably make an appointment with your therapist, but if not...come to game night. Have a little Chris therapy. I’ll even let you cook if you don’t feel like take out.”

It gets a laugh.

It’s small, it’s soft, but it’s a laugh.

One night isn’t going to magically fix everything; it’s not going to fix the pain Buck’s parents have caused him. It’s not going to fix his anger at them, or the loneliness and hurt that’s directly tied to them. But watching Buck on the couch beside his son, both of them in deep concentration on the game even as they curl tighter to one another, he sees some of Buck’s pain seep away. He sees him breathe a little easier, the fire inside dying just the slightest.

It’s only a little help, but it’s a start.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Thank you in advance for all the comments and kudos! You can find me [here](https://signsofsam.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, where I spoil myself on the episodes because I definitely don't actually get to watch the new eps until Tuesday.


End file.
